Burn Out w/ Keiandra Ware

Episode 28 - Burn Out

Transcript

:: 00:03

Welcome to mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.

:: 00:22

So welcome to episode 28. And as ever, we are going to hold some space first to talk about some of the challenges that we have. Some of the challenges that we can all experience with our mental well-being, our mental health and some of the pressures that we might find ourselves.

:: 00:41

I am delighted to say that I have a special guest and I'd like to welcome Kieandra to this podcast.

:: 00:50

Hey y'all. My name is Keiandra. I go by keitoyourgoals and I am the owner of from your personal growth firm. And I'm a country living coach. I love to focus on work, life, harmony, stress management, mindfulness, meditation and just different aspects of mental health that allow you to incorporate and bring just different aspects of your life together. Because I believe that it's.

:: 01:09

All it all flows together. Nothing is like single the physical is not single and the mental is not by itself. The spiritual is not by itself it all flows in together.

:: 01:18

Yeah, I think that's so important, isn't it to say is?

:: 01:20

That you know the the the connection we have between our physical health, our mental health, our emotional wealth, our spiritual health, they're all interlinked. And I think just being able to see them as that, but also to maybe separate them as well. So that you can focus on what you'll always see me say, what's the one small thing that you could do in that area today?

:: 01:42

And what's the one small thing that you can do in another area?

:: 01:44

Yeah, I think it's so important. So share a little bit more about the kind of things that you see with your clients or yourself probably because I'm sure you're the same as me. You know, we're.

:: 01:56

All in this together.

:: 01:59

Just tell everyone a little bit more about what you see and what kind of things you like to focus on.

:: 02:05

Yeah. So I work with professionals who work with like, over, uh, being overworked and being burned out, specifically remote working moms. So that audience is very important for me because I worked from home during the pandemic because I was a teacher at the.

:: 02:18

And it was a lot like people making seem like ohh, because you're working from home and because you know the child is there, like everything should be easy, you're at home. Everything should be flowing smoothly, when in reality there's no way to really disconnect from work and do what needs to be done at home because you're always think about work, especially when there is no like.

:: 02:38

Workspace, especially when there is no dedicated like time for work a lot of times people are working from home. It's like yeah, I get up and just work as I please. But that's problematic because then you realise.

:: 02:49

Ohh I've kind of worked all day.

:: 02:52

I think that's.

:: 02:52

And so I see that a lot where there's no boundaries, like there's no boundaries at home, there's no boundaries in your workspace. There's no boundaries with your work time, personal time. It's always just mixing and colliding together.

:: 03:02

Hmm, I think it's really important, isn't it? For us to think about what that might mean to to people out there. You know, some people do go to a workplace and then come home and it is very separate. But equally one of the things I'm always mindful of.

:: 03:18

Even if that's true, and we'll come back to the other scenario, but even if that is true, sometimes in your mind you're not switched off, so you might physically leaves the building, but in your mind you're still worrying, stressing, thinking about into your evening and into your time. And one of the things I.

:: 03:36

Talk a lot about is.

:: 03:38

Separating not just them literally, but in your mind and making a choice, and I'm sure that's what you're kind of saying, but I.

:: 03:46

Think also I I.

:: 03:47

Love the focus you've brought us to.

:: 03:50

To think about if you are working from home because lots of people are and how you create as you say the boundaries and and so that you can have the time to heal and work on yourself because it's so important, isn't it?

:: 04:06

Yeah, it's very important because a lot of times when a lot of times when you don't have that boundary in your mind, like you said, you don't have that boundary in your mind, you are just cut your mind just going, right?

:: 04:16

There have been times where I remember when I was teaching and for three. I'm not gonna sleeper. I am a sleeper. I can take a nap in the middle of the day and still go to bed and get 8 hours of sleep. I am a sleeper and when I was teaching there was like 3 months of no sleep. Like every night I'm sleeping for like two or three hours because my mom wouldn't shut off like my mom is constantly thinking, oh, this has to be graded.

:: 04:36

This has to be turned in. You know. I have to meet with this parent. So it's like and you don't turn it off in your mind, it impacts your sleep.

:: 04:43

You're not sleeping.

:: 04:43

At night, because you're really still thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow, but you're also still thinking about.

:: 04:49

Today. So instead of like having that moment at night was like ohh I accomplish these things night time looks like Oh my God, I have to get this going tomorrow night time looks like Oh my God. I didn't get this done today. And so and now that's adding it to my list tomorrow of all the things that I already have to get done. And then it's like just that constant overwhelm. Like you're putting yourself in that cycle.

:: 05:09

You constantly be overwhelmed to constantly feel like you're not doing enough, which that impacts your performance at work, because if you feel like you're not doing enough, you're either gonna overwork yourself to compensate that, or you're gonna underwork cause it's like, well, I'm not gonna get anything done anyway. What's the point?

:: 05:23

Definitely. It's so important and I think just highlighting that potential burnout as we're calling it in this episode because it, you know, people often talk about burnout. You can hear people saying it, but I don't think we realise how near a lot of people are to it. You know, maybe maybe we do manage to just pull ourselves.

:: 05:44

In, before we actually burnout, I mean, I've worked with people, as I'm sure you have, who actually have burnt out and their bodies have just gone. No enough now. But I just wonder whether we need to to, you know, really think about some of the things you're highlighting today and.

:: 05:58

And it's stuff that I talk about a lot is that celebration of small things being able to focus on something realistic.

:: 06:05

So that you don't burn out.

:: 06:07

Because as as humans, we do put ourselves under a great deal of pressure.

:: 06:12

Yes, yes. And that's so that's so important. And another point I want to add to that point is a lot of times we're talking about burnout.

:: 06:19

But people don't realise is that one shift burned out. That's too late, like like, you know, stuff here is very, very popular right now. Like, the idea of self-care is very popular, but a lot of times we're using self-care for burnout. But that's too late. Like self-care is not gonna help you remove the burnout now like.

:: 06:32

You said there's.

:: 06:33

A healing process now like now you have to get your your physical body back into a state where you can even do certain tasks.

:: 06:40

What happens when you're actually burned out like in your body? Those tasks feel heavy in your body. Where do you feel it in your chest? Whether you feel it in your head, whether you're you're someone who's like? Ohh, like I have this back, this back pain or I have, you know, these pains in my body, but really all it is you're carrying that stress in your body and this hole you're holding on tight to.

:: 06:59

It very, very tight to it.

:: 07:00

And until you release.

:: 07:02

Like you said, through that healing process, until you release through healing process, self-care is really just a Band-Aid at that point, like self-care is gonna be more of like, you know, oh, in this moment, I can make myself feel better. But as soon as this moment is over, like I can go get it out of massage. But as soon as that massage is over, it's like, oh, back to real life like back.

:: 07:17

To burnout. So it's like it's really like it's really, really important for people to realise like.

:: 07:22

What it takes to get them to burn out and doing the things before burnout to avoid that.

:: 07:28

And I absolutely hear you and and I'm glad that this conversation has gone this way because of it.

:: 07:36

We don't do enough. We feel guilty. I mean, you're obviously in the states. We're over here in the UK. We're not great at at celebrating for ourselves. We're not always great at putting ourselves first, especially at parents. More women, particularly. They feel guilty for taking time out. They feel uncomfortable.

:: 07:55

About that, yeah.

:: 07:56

They put themselves at the bottom of the pile all.

:: 07:58

The time and.

:: 07:59

That is a risk always, isn't it?

:: 08:02

Of burnout. But I love the fact that we've highlighted today that we don't want to wait for that. We've got to get that self-care that mindfulness in early and work out what's right for you. And I think that's the other thing that I often talk about is is finding the things that are.

:: 08:18

Right for you.

:: 08:20

Rather than feeling like you've got to do this.

:: 08:23

This, this, this and this.

:: 08:24

What kind of things do you say to the people you work with on?

:: 08:28

Well, I I love that point, but I'm so big on that because a lot of times people cause, like, Google searching people, Google things like ohh what self-care rituals should.

:: 08:37

I do you?

:: 08:38

Know or what? What should I add into my morning routine or how should I create this night time routine and it's like those things are helpful because I I remember listening to the.

:: 08:48

Episode you did yesterday or the episode that aired yesterday, and they talked about like doing that that small piece, but then also having to add on. It's like that is helpful when you're beginning. It's helpful to look these things up. So you get the idea because we have no idea.

:: 09:02

You're probably not going to do anything, so yes, look it up. Get an idea, but also realise that you have to craft your own personal routine. You have to craft your own personal self-care ritual. You have to craft your own personal. You have to have your own personal box of of of self-care items. Then it should be a box. I'm really being on like I called a toolbox like this is your tool your mental toolbox.

:: 09:23

Like this is gonna be where you go and pull out what you need for you at that moment and it should.

:: 09:28

Be really big it.

:: 09:29

To be huge, one of a lot of things that I'm being on because I'm like really being on doing the external things as well, the internal thing. So long that I'm a water person, so that that's one of the things I find out about my clients too is like what what is, what brings you peace like which element brings you peace? I'm a water person. I know that I can go to the lake. I know that I can take a long bath.

:: 09:50

A long shower.

:: 09:51

So whatever element brings them peace of this fire. OK, well, make sure you're lighting candles throughout the day. Make sure you're lighting instant. So these small, very small things that people aren't gonna like.

:: 10:00

I really thinking are important, but once you start adding them into your actual routine into your actual rituals, it'll just be happy. I I spoke about this on my Instagram story recently while I was like when I was being intentional cause I'm really being on that word to being intentional. So and I was being intentional about creating a new one room team for myself. I had to tell myself every day. Go make tea, go make tea.

:: 10:20

Don't make tea like I was like, telling myself that. But now I don't have to tell myself that now. It's like I know, like even after this interview, when I go home, I'm gonna go make a tea. Like my body is so used to that routine and that ritual now. And I think a lot of people missed that part of routines and rituals is that you have to get your body used to it. Like once your body is used to it.

:: 10:38

You're gonna do it, and that's even negative habits. I think people. I think most people realise that they're doing that with negative habits. They have a better understanding that they can do it with positive habits too. They're doing it with negative habits every morning when you wake up and know that you should scroll on Instagram for 10 minutes and you do it anyway, you're reinforcing that habit.

:: 10:56

I love that. I love that and I think I loved your idea of thinking about the the elements. It's something I haven't particularly focused on before, but I think that's really important, isn't it, to to touch into and it's a great way when people say, yeah, I don't know what I need. Well, maybe that's a good way to look at what actually, what is your?

:: 11:16

What? What makes you tick? What makes you feel safe? What makes you feel peaceful? And do that? Because I think one of the challenges we do is comparative unitis. So we compare that everybody else is doing this and that and yoga and walking and and that might not be for you. That might not be your thing. So for for me, when we're thinking about what do we need for our?

:: 11:35

Self careless self kindness is is exactly that. What is right for you? I love you know again, I I talk sometimes about tool boxes and getting the right things in there. But.

:: 11:48

Also, the other side of it is the self compassion, isn't it? It's the self love being able to actually.

:: 11:53

Think that you're.

:: 11:55

Enough. Bit worthy. Yeah, we're on the same page. It's so important, isn't it? And.

:: 12:00

Yet it's just the last.

:: 12:02

Thing that happens when so many people are being hard on themselves.

:: 12:07

Yes, yes, definitely.

:: 12:08

Yeah. So let's have a little think about what kind of if people are going to listen into this, we've already given them ideas already, but let's just think about some some ideas that people can run with. What kind of things do you like to do yourself or do you share with other people that are really tangible?

:: 12:27

Strategies or options?

:: 12:31

So we're talking about like building that self-care tool box and making sure that you're avoiding burnout. I feel like the most important part of that is, like you said, like actually feel like you're worthy of even having that balance, like feeling like you're worthy of saying, oh, I know, I can clock out of my job at 5 and clocking to.

:: 12:48

My wife after that.

:: 12:50

Feel like you're worried of those things? So I'm really big on the affirmations of that beginning, I understand.

:: 12:58

Because when we're talking about affirmations and I'm like, really being able to shoppers and things like that, we're talking about affirmations and shoppers. I understand that comes from your that comes from the top. So it's like saying those I understand, like, I understand that I deserve to be taken care of in these ways. I understand that I deserve or that I am old. These things a lot of times saying that I am old and sort of deserve.

:: 13:20

Shifts that as well cause then it's like, huh?

:: 13:22

Not only am I.

:: 13:23

Worthy of these things. But these things should be given.

:: 13:25

To me, because.

:: 13:27

Of who I am so even like understanding that that part. So one of the big parts that I do like in the first.

:: 13:32

Phase and work.

:: 13:32

On clients is clarifying your values like.

:: 13:35

Who are you? What do you even want? Why do you want these things? Because that's gonna help you determine. That's how people want. Want things. But don't even realise that you're not getting them because you don't feel like you're worthy of them. You're not getting them because you don't like you deserve them, even though you've done the work. And we talk about imposter syndrome. In that case, like that, imposter syndrome starts sneaking in something like very, very important to clarify your value and start asking yourself.

:: 13:58

Why throughout the day, even like, why did I just do that? Like why did I engage in that conversation with that person like?

:: 14:04

Why? Why did I post that on social media and not even like this super critical way, but just to really start making yourself aware of what's even like going on in your day-to-day, because a lot of times when people are overwork burnout, there is no like awareness. It is just day-to-day to day-to-day to day. So even just taking that moment to just ask myself why like.

:: 14:25

Why? Why is this happening? Why, why? Why is this meeting going this way? You know? And same just going with the flow all the time. Like being able to pause and just ask yourself like, why? And then I'm really big on managing time mindfully, always acting mindfully part.

:: 14:41

Because a lot of time management, time management and productivity techniques are very like cut and dry like you have to do this like this kind of thing. What's that you're managing your time mindfully. You have that awareness already to know that yes, I have this project that needs to get done and it's due by 5:00 PM and it's 2:00 PM but I need 10 minutes to myself. That's managing your time.

:: 15:02

Exactly. And just knowing that like this is still gonna get done, I have the ability to look at this note. I understand that I have the talent to still get this done. I can take 10 minutes to myself.

:: 15:13

I love that and I think that's softened the the glue that's missing, isn't it? Is the being able to just take when you are busy just that little bit of?

:: 15:22

Pores little bit of reflection, little bit of just time for you and then you can go again. You know I think what we know is we have got a lot of capacity all of us. But what we're trying to do is look for ways.

:: 15:33

To help us be a good version of ourselves, the best we possibly can, but without that horrible stretching pressure, and I think your affirmation about understanding is really powerful. Making that reflection on why you know, what is it that's going on for me. But then what that you do understand that you can't.

:: 15:54

Something else I like to have people think about is I love that I do, or I love that I am or I love that just getting a bit closer to things that.

:: 16:03

You do well.

:: 16:06

Because people who.

:: 16:06

Are you know you've?

:: 16:08

Mentioned imposter syndrome. We had an episode on that a few weeks ago and I think just pausing sometimes again to just notice what you're thinking just changes or what you're doing, what you're doing or what you're thinking. But I think one of the things that I think is really important to say here is.

:: 16:23

When we are looking at.

:: 16:25

Self-care and not being so hard on ourselves is if you do, I loved your example of you know you you go on the Instagram and you as soon as you wake up. But if you do do that, obviously it might be something that you want to change. But if you do just be OK with it.

:: 16:42

Yeah, because I think the self beating if you think ohh yes wasted a load of time there. It just is pointless, isn't it? If you've done it, you've done it. So yeah, maybe tomorrow you might decide to wake up and do something different to scrolling on Instagram because you're aware of it. But I think the thing that Austin causes people to burn out.

:: 17:02

And and to be so you know, mentally exhausted. Is that where they are doing things and then they are unhappy with themselves or with the situation. I think that's so important.

:: 17:15

Yes, yes, I love that point because that is what I do with my clients at the first, the first 2-3 weeks is like solely just focus on increasing your awareness because if you don't know what you're doing, but if you don't know that, not even that if you don't know that you're doing, if you don't know that you don't like it. Like if you if you wake up every morning for those 10 minutes on Instagram and you.

:: 17:33

You're fine. You enjoy that. You're good to go. But if you like.

:: 17:37

Start increasing your awareness and you're paying attention to yourself more and your actions more your thoughts. More you really.

:: 17:42

Like I've been on 10 minutes and I'm like looking at negative content for 10 minutes straight and then that like, bleeds into tomorrow morning and it bleeds into like, you know, my energy for the day and how I'm thinking for the day. And so that's like my goal over those two weeks is just for like over 2-3. So I just notice it just paying attention to it because you'll notice that there are habits.

:: 18:00

That you do like and then their habits that you don't like.

:: 18:03

Sorry pond. I often talk about and it's not a science, but it's my.

:: 18:09

Is that making any change 80% of making that change is being aware of what's actually happening, and I know it's not an exact science, it's just a a figure I've looked out, but I genuinely will hold that and I think you're agreeing with that being being aware of what you're doing.

:: 18:29

Without judgement and then asking yourself, is it what I want to do or not? And then build on that? Because I think the burnout could so often come from people pushing, pushing, pushing and then being harder themselves cause they've pushed and then they're annoyed with themselves. And then suddenly you're in this terrible, horrible place that we want to avoid.

:: 18:49

And then I think a lot of times people don't understand how burnout impacts their relationships too. So it's like, yes, you're burned out, but when you increase your awareness, you're going to realise how.

:: 19:00

Ohh, your burnout impacts your kids how your burnout impacts your partner, how your in burnout impacts your coworkers because you don't have that awareness. You don't even know that you've been snappy for a week. You don't know that because you're not present enough to be experiencing those things, but the people around you are present enough to be experiencing those things. So without even even because they're.

:: 19:20

I use that as like a.

:: 19:22

It's like a tool, a little bit when I'm working with a client and they're like hyper focused on what other people think and how how they're actually impact other people. That's one of the things I'll point out. I'm like, well, you know, you say you acting this way, you know, for about three or four days, how do you think that impacted the people around you kind of thing? And then once they start thinking like that, it's like.

:: 19:42

Well, maybe maybe I need to shift and then even asking the people around you. Sometimes I know a lot of.

:: 19:48

People miss this point.

:: 19:51

It's asking people around.

:: 19:52

You like what? What do you think?

:: 19:53

Of me people.

:: 19:54

You trust? Of course not.

:: 19:55

You know, trust, but asking them why you know what? What? What do you think?

:: 19:59

Of me? Like what?

:: 20:00

What do you what do you think I value? What do you think I believe? What do you think? Why do you think I'm doing certain things? Because a.

:: 20:07

Lot of times when you don't have that awareness of yourself, it helps to hear.

:: 20:10

Someone else say it so the way it clicks for you, because if you're.

:: 20:13

Spending all this?

:: 20:13

Time I don't wear the actions people around you are aware you may be unaware of, but people around you are aware.

:: 20:20

Definitely. I think that's a really.

:: 20:21

Good point, but I I think.

:: 20:23

Often people who do find themselves in these spaces, whether they have burnt out, whether they're on the sort of brink of it in one shape or another, they are so very focused on what everybody else is thinking of them, which is can be part of the challenge. But I like that slip and actually go OK, well, let's really think about and I would.

:: 20:42

Do the same.

:: 20:43

Keandra I would get people to think about.

:: 20:45

But the impact it is having on others because that can be the bit that makes them go.

:: 20:51

Ooh Ouch. I need to change that, but I think something else has things to mind and it's interesting. Actually. I was only talking to a client this.

:: 20:57

Morning about this. Something else that she's thinking about putting in is more self-care and her children her. She's got daughters.

:: 21:07

OK.

:: 21:08

Are used to having her just jumping at every need, and they're a bit older now and she.

:: 21:14

Can see that.

:: 21:14

They need to be a bit more independent so she knows that a bit and her awareness has increased tenfold. But one of the things, and I know she listens to this podcast so I know she'll be listening and thinking she's talking about me.

:: 21:28

One of the things that we talked about today was how taking time for self-care is demonstrating to her daughters that self-care is important.

:: 21:39

And actually making that time and really making that boundary so that they learn that mum can or dad or anyone else can take time outs just for them just for them because you're teaching them, aren't you, how to manage their own stress levels, their own thing indirectly because.

:: 22:00

Children of the sea modelling everything.

:: 22:04

Yes, yes, I love that place because that's one of the reasons why I work with moms is because of that. It's because it's like because my son is 4, I have a four year old. So I'm more of a I'm. I'm a newer mom, but like, I have friends who have like teenage kids and who have, I've taught parents and workshops and a lot of a lot of the the problems there. And that's what I emphasise is that if you start doing these things.

:: 22:25

And you commit to these things.

:: 22:26

They're going to follow you because they're gonna copy you and follow you anyway. They're going to copy and follow you. So it's like it's important for them to understand that as well like this, because they're gonna copy your bad habits.

:: 22:36

Too. So why?

:: 22:37

Not improve your habits? Why not set up better habits so that way they set away when they're older? They're not making the same decision, even in relationships, in the work that you made because you didn't feel that you were worried because you didn't feel like you deserve.

:: 22:48

You know certain?

:: 22:49

Experiences and to be treated a certain way.

:: 22:51

To treat yourself certain.

:: 22:52

Ways. It's like once they see that. Ohh no. Mine is like a priority. Like I can't. I can't just come in here.

:: 22:59

During her hour break and.

:: 23:00

And talk to her like it's a no. There's if it's an emergency. It's a no.

:: 23:05

So it's like raising.

:: 23:07

Kids like I have a four year old, so my.

:: 23:08

Son understands that or he?

:: 23:10

Like I've been very big on that from the beginning. So it's like he understands that already. But of course, there are people, teenagers like you said with your client. She has adult daughters. So it's like learning how to.

:: 23:22

Create that New Balance. That new routine, that new ritual, but also like you said, they're gonna be built there. So accepting that you know you're just gonna have to be like, I'm sorry you feel that way. That's.

:: 23:32

Not my intention.

:: 23:33

But this is the new normal, you know, and I and I'm, you know, even like as a parent, like saying I'm doing this for you. You know, it may not.

:: 23:39

Seem like that, but this is gonna be good for you because.

:: 23:42

You can't be the best parent you can be. If you are burned out like you can't. Like if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not gonna be the best here. You're not gonna be the best employee, partner, friend, anything. You're not gonna be the best at all of those. And if you are being the best at all those things, that means you're being the worst person ever to yourself. And that's not going to.

:: 24:01

Interestingly, that was something else we talked about. You know, she tries to come to work and be your best self, which I respect, but at the expense of her own best self for her privately. And I think this whole piece just reminds us all, doesn't it? You know, whether it's a friendship that you just need to be honest and say I can't go to that thing.

:: 24:20

Because I just need, yeah.

:: 24:21

To to have an early night and take that time for myself. Often when we ask.

:: 24:27

Coaches often ask people would it be OK if your friend said, you know, I really need to prioritise myself care today and I'm not going to come? Would that be OK? Most people say yeah, that'd be fine. How come it's not?

:: 24:39

OK, for you to do it.

:: 24:41

Yep. Yeah, that's a really good point because a lot of people are very accommodating for others but not accommodating for themselves. So it's like, yeah, they can cancel the plans and you'll just figure it out. But it's like, if it's you, you're like, having an anxiety attack because I can't cancel all them. I can't bail. You know, I have to show up and it's like.

:: 25:01

Like and I told I told clients a lot of farms to watch out for. I have to like anytime you're saying I have to do something, reassess that just to see, like, do I do I really like?

:: 25:11

Do I really? I don't have to because I said I have to do it like it's something that's a real requirement of me to do or can or can I say that this is more important to me right now, which is getting comes back to the value. That's why I'm so big on the value.

:: 25:22

so I can't go out with you at: 10:00

:: 25:42

Each child, it's time to make a decision.

:: 25:45

Love it. Act as ever this episode of Things for people to think about. Take away. Work out why.

:: 25:53

This is gonna resonate with you the most. Take action on that, you know, or even just repeat. I feel like some people will need to repeat listening to this episode because I think it's, I can almost tell with lots of people I work with. It's just gonna speak to them in so many ways. And what we want obviously is, as we said at the beginning.

:: 26:12

We don't want people to burn out. We want people to realise that they're on a bit of a sticky edge and actually can they can they come back and what is it that they need to be able to come back?

:: 26:25

Yes, definitely, definitely. And I feel like when it when we're talking about coming back before burnout, we're talking about coming back.

:: 26:33

A lot of people aren't able to do this and I I I don't like that, but I feel like a complete shutdown is necessary in order to come back. Like if that means hey, call the grandparents so the kids can come over for the weekend taking two days off of work to add on to your weekend and taking like a full four or five days like those are gonna be things that are needed.

:: 26:53

You come back.

:: 26:55

So it's like it's this idea of like, OK, I have PTO.

:: 26:57

But I'm not.

:: 26:58

Taking it no take this PTO and relax or I have so I have this opportunity cause I I hear clients all the time like say they have the opportunity to do their insurance, but they had this opportunity to go like do something exciting or fun or new actually just had a work trip recently we went to Houston.

:: 27:15

And I wanted my coworkers. She was like I would have never. I would never do karaoke. I would never.

:: 27:20

Do those things.

:: 27:20

But I'm gonna try it today.

:: 27:22

It's like those are the things that are gonna help you not burn out is like tapping into that inner child too and doing the fun activity that you wouldn't normally do, things that you will overthink before. Just do it because you don't realise. I don't like doing carry. I like doing karaoke. I'm gonna add that to my self-care box. Like I like these things so being and just trying new things. Try new things.

:: 27:42

Funny things and take that shut down. Time to say that no, I need these 3-4 days to myself like.

:: 27:47

Yeah, I think.

:: 27:48

You're right, it's a bit of a reset, isn't it? As long as you.

:: 27:48

That will be it.

:: 27:51

You aren't doing the guilt and the thinking about all the things you have to do it properly, and I love that reminder that sometimes what is in our self-care box needs to be fun. Because as adults, particularly if you are feeling over a stretched etcetera, we lose sight of just being able to.

:: 28:11

Go and metaphorically jump in that puddle or whatever it is.

:: 28:14

Alright, alright, that's what I feel like. That's another thing I love about having a phone is like I get to do all the things because I'm the oldest girl. I'm oldest of seven, so I grew up.

:: 28:25

Very girly basically, because I'm the I'm the oldest. Everything oldest grandchild needs everything. I'm the first born, and so I was like, forced to wear pink all the time and forced to do all the great stuff. But I wanted to go play with the message and all of that. So it's like having a son and at last times like as a parent, like one of the things that I like, push my clients to do is to go do those.

:: 28:46

Some things with the kids, so that's gonna help you. Like sometimes it seems like, oh, I got this work to do. I have to clean the kitchen. I have to do the laundry. I have to.

:: 28:52

Do safe. Yeah, those things need to get done, but.

:: 28:56

Going to do something that your child is going to be a fun moment for them to remember moving forward. It's going to be like a relief for both of y'all, especially if you're close to that burnout.

:: 29:05

Doing something with them, just increasing that engagement. I like to think about things.

:: 29:09

And like deposits and withdrawals as well. So it's like making sure that you're depositing in that account with your child, you know, yes, the ones you have to get done. Yes. Household choice has to get done. But that can wait because you're focused on making a deposit right now.

:: 29:22

Brilliant. Love it. What a brilliant, brilliant metaphor. And a great way to finish this episode. Thank you so much for sharing this time with me. From all the way in the big United States.

:: 29:36

It's been brilliant and we put all your links in the show notes so people can connect with you. Is there anything you want to say before we finish?

:: 29:45

Just to wrap up, just a reminder that burnout self-care do not go together, OK? Remember to practise your self-care throughout the week, throughout the day, even if that's taking 5 minutes to yourself. Even if that's cutting off your phone at night or closing your laptop as soon as work is over, whatever that looks like for you, do that for you.

:: 30:05

You deserve it. You are.

:: 30:06

Owed it, it is yours.

:: 30:08

Lovely. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on this episode.

:: 30:12

Thank you so much. Take your time.

:: 30:17

Thank you for listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Wealth, Remember.

:: 30:23

You can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode? Message me on Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like me to.

:: 30:39

We'll find.

:: 30:40

Next in the show notes.

:: 30:42

I'll be back with more tools and.

:: 30:44

Tips to make?

:: 30:44

Sense of your mind in the next step.

:: 30:47

In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bye for now.