Inner Child w/ Brooke Bownes

Episode 23 - Inner Child

Transcript

:: 00:03

Welcome to mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.

:: 00:22

So welcome to episode 23. And in this episode we've got some really interesting things to bring to you, and I am delighted to say that I'm sharing this space with Brooke and I'm going to let her introduce herself. But she tells me she likes to specialise in inner child's work, so we're really gonna have a great conversation.

:: 00:45

So, but please introduce yourself.

:: 00:47

OK. Thank you, Allison. Thank you for having me. So my name is Brooke Bownes and I'm an inner child coach and I help people to understand that their inner child rooms can actually affect how they live as an adult life and also when we talk about inner child wounds, people say, well, I didn't have a traumatic childhood, so that that's not me. But you don't necessarily have to have.

:: 01:07

And a traumatic childhood to develop those inner child wounds. So me personally, I had a very traumatic childhood and a narcissistic mother. And I grew up hearing I wasn't worthy. I was ugly. Nobody ever loved me. I'll never amount to anything.

:: 01:23

And you know, I was physically, verbally abused. Most of my childhood. And so obviously I had major in the child wounds and not feeling good enough. Not feeling worthy, lovable or important. But, you know, and I ended up getting coaching and therapy and realised actually, that they were my mother's beliefs and not mine. So I could change my beliefs and that's.

:: 01:44

A great thing.

:: 01:44

And I help my clients with. Is that the beliefs that you've got now, you don't have to keep, you can actually change your beliefs and move on and live the life that you really want to live. And my mission is to to help a million people to live the life that they want to live rather than the life they feel that they should live because.

:: 02:00

With, you know.

:: 02:02

Inherited beliefs and and thought patterns that they've had most of their life.

:: 02:07

Brilliant. I think it's so important, isn't it? For for us to just pause sometimes and think about why things might not be going the way that we want them to. So I, you know, a lot of people talk to me about feeling happier, feeling more confident, feeling more at ease with themselves.

:: 02:25

And sometimes we have to do some quite deep work, don't we? To get that to get those results. And you know, yes, myself included. Similar book. I've done a lot of work, a lot of therapy to get to where I am today and it doesn't necessarily mean that's what everyone has to do. But I think we have to know, don't we wear some of our stuff?

:: 02:46

Comes from. Why we don't have cause I see people exhausting themselves trying to be more of something, but actually we do. Don't we have to pause? And.

:: 02:55

Think about what might be getting in our way, and I think in this episode we're gonna have a really great conversation about what that might be and then hopefully some strategies to help us move forward.

:: 03:08

Yes. Yeah, I totally agree with you.

:: 03:10

There. Brilliant. So.

:: 03:13

It is a light touch because we've got a a short space for us to share, probably a lot of experience between brook and I in this area because it is an area that I'm interested in too.

:: 03:24

And I'm very, very passionate about people understanding themselves so that they can be their best version of themselves, whatever that might look like. But I think something else that I'm always interested and I'm interested in your thoughts on this book.

:: 03:37

Is how we.

:: 03:38

Use what's happened to us to become that person.

:: 03:42

That is you.

:: 03:44

Now, but having had that experience.

:: 03:46

It's because it's there's no point in living in a space of blame, or regret or horribleness, because we've had maybe a tough time. And yeah, we we can talk about. We can talk as well to the people who haven't had that. And I'm interested in your thoughts on and they haven't had that. But I think if you just put a little bit of thought.

:: 04:07

And how we become the new person, even though it's we're still the same person. But with this experience, what? What do you what? What's your thoughts on that Brooke?

:: 04:18

Well my thought is and and I I say this to everybody I make that I believe that we're all diamonds, but we've just been buried under other people's thoughts and beliefs. And you know that I I help my clients to get back to being that that original diamond so they can shine however they want to shine. You know, for me it's impacting the world and and running this big mission talking on stage.

:: 04:39

But that may not be for everybody, some people.

:: 04:41

Just want to shine.

:: 04:42

In their job, in their family, wherever it is that they want to shine. So that's what I help my clients sue to, to lift back those layers, to let them understand actually those beliefs and thoughts that they've got that aren't serving them right now.

:: 04:56

OK, let, let's.

:: 04:57

Look for where, where they've come from, kind of give them back to the to where they've come from and what beliefs and thoughts.

:: 05:02

Do you want to have that will?

:: 05:03

Help you to.

:: 05:04

Move forward and then we work on creating those new beliefs and those new thoughts so you can actually become the person that you you were originally supposed to be that happy aligned person, you know, doing what you want to do and fill in your your cup full up and and feeling great about yourself and feeling really fulfilled in life.

:: 05:20

I love that. I think it is important, isn't it? For us to take some time to think about the thoughts that we have our inner self, our inner critic, our inner voice that we all can identify with and work out who's it is, whose voice is, who is that belief. And I think that's what you were saying earlier, isn't it?

:: 05:41

Yeah, absolutely. And I work a lot with.

:: 05:44

Them what's called parts work. So I I believe we've got our our true selves as an adult we have our inner child and then we have these parts that come up. So when parts come up like self sabotaging procrastination, perfectionism, that's our inner child's telling us they don't feel good enough, worthy, lovable.

:: 06:02

Very importantly, it feels safe.

:: 06:04

So procrastination will come in and stop us from doing what we want to do. So we stay small and stay safe and procrastinate. It's kind of like tick job done. I've done my job. So we're when we feel like we're procrastinate and we feel like we're we're being a perfectionist. So we feel like we're, you know, feeling anxious or overwhelmed. These are all parts to.

:: 06:24

It's our body giving us feedback and letting us know that something isn't quite right there. So it's like checking in with our inner child and obviously I go into this a lot deeper with my clients over a longer period of time.

:: 06:35

But it's essentially it's instead of fearing those those feelings coming up where a lot of people say, oh, yeah, well, I just have to push that to one side and and and go through it. But actually, no. It's like welcome them and get curious of why they're they've turned up and then process all that. Then you can move on and and enjoy doing whatever it is you.

:: 06:54

Wanted to do.

:: 06:55

Then my example I.

:: 06:56

Always use is when I first my coach first said to me go do a Facebook live on your personal profile. I went Oh my goodness. So the minute you know your body goes, it sends a signal to your subconscious mind to say this isn't safe and it'll find the danger and those protective parts will come in to stop you doing it because it's uh, you know, we're gonna be in danger.

:: 07:17

Even though logically we know we can do that, we've got the skills and the knowledge and we know we're perfectly safe to sit in front of a camera and talk and do a Facebook live. Our body is feeling something completely different because it's kind of transported back to when we were six or seven and something.

:: 07:32

And and that for me when I spoke out as a child, I got into trouble. So my body was going. No. If you speak out, I'm at Facebook live. You're gonna get.

:: 07:41

Into trouble, even though logically.

:: 07:43

I knew I wouldn't, but my body was actually stopping me from doing my inner child was stopping me, so I procrastinated to the point of, and I'm sure your viewers can can relate to this.

:: 07:53

You know that kitchen drawer? That's always a bit of a best with the odd pen top, elastic band and paper clip. I even tied all that up, so that was immaculately tidy before I did my Facebook live cause that suddenly seemed more important because my procrastinating part was.

:: 08:06

Huge because it's like no, if I speak out, I'm in danger. So you can understand when my body didn't want me to speak out. So it's when we understand how our bodies work and it's a bit like our.

:: 08:17

Bodies and our.

:: 08:18

Inner child controls the actions that we decide to take, even though logically we know that we can do them if our bodies don't feel aligned with it or.

:: 08:26

On board with it.

:: 08:27

We're not going to to do that or.

:: 08:29

We're going to push through and.

:: 08:30

Absolutely feel horrendous and and put a lot of strain on our on our.

:: 08:34

On our system.

:: 08:36

So important to say, I think something that really resonated for me and I talk about this a lot is.

:: 08:43

When something just doesn't serve you anymore, but you can see how it used to. So it used to have a really good purpose, so yours was to not speak up because you would have got told off a lot of people can identify with staying small, being invisible. It's easier because if you were brought up by parents maybe who were quite strict and it's just easier to stay small, isn't it? It's.

:: 09:04

Easy to stay.

:: 09:05

In the background and just knowing that you could see why it was helpful.

:: 09:12

But then know that it's not serving you now, but I like to be able to see that it's it was helpful because I think so many people get so upset with themselves saying I know it's bad, it's rubbish. This I shouldn't be like this.

:: 09:24

But actually it.

:: 09:25

Used to serve you. Yeah, it was a good thing. And now you're an adult and or you're a young person, you know you're.

:: 09:31

You're older and you don't need.

:: 09:33

Don't need this old thing anymore, and I think it's so important to just be able to pause, isn't it? And think about.

:: 09:39

It used to.

:: 09:40

Have a really good.

:: 09:42

Job this thing. Yeah. So thank you very much. But I don't need it now and I think that's what it is in it that we need to pay attention to is that it did have a purpose. Don't beat yourself up if you're thinking these things. They were there for a reason, but that reason has changed now. And part of your development is to let go of that.

:: 10:03

Idea so that you become the adult that you want to be.

:: 10:07

Absolutely. Like by me, keeping quiet as a child kept me safe cause I got less, less killings of my and I got less physical abuse. But obviously now because I've got a business I want to be vocal, I want to to share what I'm doing and I want to help lots of people. So I need to be seen. I need to be heard. So yes, it was great when I was a child cause it kept me safe then.

:: 10:28

But actually it's it's not doing that now because I don't need to be kept safe because you know, my mother's not going to come in here and and tell me off or beat me up for for speaking out and saying what I need to say. You know, so it.

:: 10:40

Is that real understanding that but?

:: 10:43

What happens is our our our minds logically know that we can do these things, but our body, because it goes into that fight or flight or free situation, automatically reverts back to being that helpless 6-7 year old and think OK well, I need to do what I did back then because it worked back then because we haven't kind of date stamped it in the past and that's what I help my clients.

:: 11:04

Is is get their their body so realised OK that happened when I was six I.

:: 11:08

Now, 30, 40, 50 old or wherever, how old I am, I don't need that the coping strategy anymore. I can have a different one. And that's where I talk about you can change your belief system. You don't need to believe that anymore. That that served you then. But it doesn't serve you now. So what belief system will serve you now and will help you to move forward in your life.

:: 11:27

Yeah, so you're almost rewriting the stories, and the scripts. Aren't you having paid respect to the fact that it was there?

:: 11:36

And it worked for for a lot of time and I think most people can relate to that when they hear that and that's where I think it's really important that we, we are highlighting that today because.

:: 11:46

Yeah, otherwise the the opposite to that is that people are very hard on themselves, very negative about themselves because they think, well, I'm I'm pretty rubbish and I'm not going to speak up and I'm not going to.

:: 11:56

Put my head.

:: 11:57

Up. So I think that's really important. And then let's have a think about, well, what then, what sort of strategies do you? I know there's lots and I know that.

:: 12:06

But it's over time, but let's have a think about some small, tangible things that we could get people to start to think about to to help them move forward if they becoming aware of this in themselves. What kind of things do you tend to work with for people?

:: 12:23

Oh, it's been aware of your of your nervous system because like I said, the minute you go, even if it's a slight thing, it will send a signal to your subconscious mind and and it will spiral you into, like, not taking that action. So it's like, OK noticing how your nervous system is reacting. Are you kind of holding your shoulders or are you clenching your jaws? Drop your shoulders. Drop the jaw.

:: 12:44

If your heart's pounding.

:: 12:46

Do some nice deep breathing and I often like to use the what I call the 528 technique where you breathe in through your nose for a count of five holes for a counter two, and then breathe out counting back for some 8 to 0 and repeat that a few times because then that will reduce your heart rate to a normal heart rate and then that sends a signal to subgroups.

:: 13:05

But oh, you must be safe because your heart's not pounding. You're not being chased by my mad axemen or you're not getting ready to physically fight. So it's.

:: 13:13

Just thinking about how you're feeling about the situation before you're going into it, if you start.

:: 13:18

To feel yourself getting really, really.

:: 13:20

Worked up and and tense I think. How can I relax my body again when your body's relaxed? Then your subconscious mind is more likely to be on board with.

:: 13:28

It and you'll.

:: 13:28

Be able to go forward and do the action that you want.

:: 13:31

To to take in the first place.

:: 13:34

I think that's so important, isn't it? Because so often I hear people are so worried about how are they going to deal with their past? How are they going to grow from whatever it is has happened and actually just reminding ourselves that actually how we start is now.

:: 13:51

In the moment, it isn't 30 years ago. No, it's now.

:: 13:55

And isn't that? That's what I think. You know, I'm often talking about is that, you know, the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between the past present to the future. It just everything is a now and then another now and another now. And I think, you know, remembering that is so important. And I've had a few people on this podcast who've, you know, explored that topic.

:: 14:15

In itself, I had Joel on a few weeks ago and he he's the breath work expert and he was talking about just literally breathing how that changes your whole Physiology and everything. It's so important. But I think, you know, anybody can take that right now just listening to you, Brooke, and thinking about.

:: 14:35

Child work and.

:: 14:37

Dealing with the past and just to know that you're starting point is actually in this minute.

:: 14:43

Of how you're believing and how you're feeling about you and your own thoughts. And it's getting curious, OK, what? Why am I feeling like that? What? What? What am I? What perceived danger am I thinking? I'm. I'm going to be in. And when you become aware of that, you can then logically think, OK, well, I'm. I'm not in that danger now. So.

:: 15:03

What steps can I I then take and you can, you know, logically work your way through it. But.

:: 15:08

You kind of like get your body triggered, your nervous system triggered. You then go into that fight or flight, and when we go into that fight or flight situation, that freeze, we can't logically think because all the energy is going to our major organs to get us ready to physically fight or physically run, which you know is a survival mechanism. Because if there's a mad act then chasing up, yeah, you're either gonna wanna fight.

:: 15:28

Thing, or you're gonna wanna run away. You're not gonna sit? Wanna sit there and think? Ohh. I wonder if I.

:: 15:33

Can like you.

:: 15:34

Know kind of have a conversation with him and calm him down and because we need to take that action.

:: 15:40

But once we've actually got a calm, nervous system, we can think about responding to things rather than reacting to things. Cause when we're in that fight, flight or freeze, we're reacting. But actually when we're in our logical part of our brain, we then respond and and then we can figure things out, OK? Right. Actually, I am totally safe to sit here and do this.

:: 15:59

This, but like nothing's gonna happen. I'm not gonna have a mad axeman come through the door or anything like that. It's gone.

:: 16:04

Happen and you can then, you know, calm your your nervous system down so you can then actually do your first face at life. Yeah. And it is something you're doing the first time. You are naturally gonna have a bit of nerves because we're human beings and and that's OK, you know, because it'd be a bit worrying if you felt nothing because that means.

:: 16:21

You're either dead.

:: 16:21

Or if you're a psychopath.

:: 16:24

So you want to have that.

:: 16:25

Kind of. Ohh OK, this is the first time I've done it. I'm not gonna show.

:: 16:28

How it's gonna go?

:: 16:29

So it's it's.

:: 16:31

Really, our bodies are always giving us feedback. They're always giving us data and and but we we tend to tune out to our bodies. Children are brilliant at listening to their bodies. When they're tired. They fall asleep. When they're hungry, they they.

:: 16:45

You know, as we go along in life, we kind of suppress. And yeah, I'm hungry. But I'm just gonna let ignore that or I'm tired. But yeah, I'll. I'll just go on for another couple of hours or so. We we end up not really connecting with our bodies, but once we start reconnecting again with our bodies and listening.

:: 17:00

To our bodies.

:: 17:01

We then can work with it and our lives.

:: 17:04

That so much more better, so much more productive as well.

:: 17:07

Definitely, definitely. And I think it takes the pressure off as well, doesn't it, if?

:: 17:11

Rather than feel like we've got this mountain to climb to to maybe free ourselves of something that we don't like, the way we behave or the way we think, or the way we feel about ourselves, just being able to train yourself to breathe in the moment and and actually to just.

:: 17:27

Like you say, manage that that emotional response, which is normal.

:: 17:31

You know, I'm always saying it's five times quicker. The limbic system gets involved five times quicker than any logic.

:: 17:37

And just being able to pause and think about that in itself is so, so important, isn't it? I think the other thing that I think is really important to say here is when we are feeling unsettled about the past or or anything for that matter.

:: 17:52

Actually having the courage to once you settle that really emotional response to sit with things.

:: 17:59

To actually sit with that feeling because we're so desperate to not have horrible feelings, aren't we as humans?

:: 18:06

That we will.

:: 18:07

Do anything to get away from that feeling, and I don't know how you work with this book, but you know, sometimes I do say to people, you know, just literally sitting with that feeling and see what comes up.

:: 18:20

To see what your mind might give you. Cause as you say, we are all that time and to use your metaphor, and we're all, we've all got that blueprint. And yet stuff happens to us, doesn't it? And I think just being able to sit sometimes with that difficult Ness and I'm sure that's what you encourage your clients to do.

:: 18:39

Because we're not used to sitting with how we're feeling and and we need to feel to be able to heal, you know, saying that to my clients. So. But you know, especially if you've had a traumatic childhood or or had parents that didn't know how to deal with emotion, they're like, ohh, don't cry. Don't cry. So.

:: 18:55

We kind of suppress that.

:: 18:57

Emotion. But human beings, we're.

:: 18:58

Supposed to express our emotions.

:: 19:00

Not suppress them. And when we suppress them, that's when we get, you know, our bodies.

:: 19:04

Are not at.

:: 19:05

Ease and we end up with diseases and stuff.

:: 19:08

So it is like allowing that feeling if you're feeling sad, allowing that feeling to come up. Let those tears come out and you feel feeling angry. Let that anger come, come up and come out. You know, because you know a lot of us are growing up, especially as women. Good girls don't get angry. So it's like, oh, look, I'm not a good girl. If I get angry, that's that's so, so wrong, you know. And.

:: 19:28

And also you, you know, men don't cry, you know, big boys don't cry so. So they don't they don't cry but actually.

:: 19:34

It's all just emotions. There's no to me. There's no good or bad emotions. It's just the the thoughts and the beliefs we attached to those particular emotions that that make it feel like they're good.

:: 19:43

Or bad, so yeah.

:: 19:45

Sitting with them and and people like used to doing that. So OK, I'll just stuff that down and get on with my day and the more you keep shoving them down, eventually they build up and they have to come out somewhere.

:: 19:55

And they'll come out as a disease or come.

:: 19:57

Out with pain in their body.

:: 19:59

Yeah, I work with a lot of people and there's only I've got chronic pain across my shoulders and.

:: 20:04

My neck and head.

:: 20:05

But also working with me and releasing all those emotions. They notice that the pains on their shoulders and their neck goes they have less and less headaches and things because they're not stuffing all.

:: 20:16

Their emotions down.

:: 20:17

Definitely. I think it's so important as well to hear us. You know, this conversation, hopefully it will help.

:: 20:24

People be able to kind of think about where their attention is. So is their attention on their pain and that I eat, they've got pain, is their attention on. They're so emotional, feeling very, very emotional. Just wherever their emotions or wherever their attention is is a good place to start.

:: 20:45

To to to sort of get. You get your get you moving along this journey, which never ends, does it? It's just a.

:: 20:55

Constantly I can remember once a client came to the session I said Ohh how how you have got this horrendous really bad headache, she said. But I didn't wanna like let you down because she's a big people bleeding. She didn't just start working me so I just turned up like care. So we'll we'll we'll not worry about doing a session today. Just we'll just have a chat. How how how's

:: 21:14

Your week been.

:: 21:15

And she just then, like, released everything that she needs to release. And after she's finished talking, she she carried on for like 45.

:: 21:23

Minutes without hardly a.

:: 21:24

Breath and like, OK, I said.

:: 21:27

How's your headache now? She.

:: 21:29

It's gone because she took evidence or piled up, and she was trying to remember everything in her mind, and there was so much on her mind. She'd given herself a headache because she got so much stuff in her mind.

:: 21:40

And she she.

:: 21:41

Hadn't released it.

:: 21:42

Or or let it out anywhere.

:: 21:44

Do you?

:: 21:44

You know, and I knew that when when she'd let it out to me that her headache would disappear and she went, Oh my goodness. Thank you. She. I've had this headache for days, she said. And and I thought if I went to you and it's it just disappeared. But it wasn't anything I did. I just created that space for.

:: 21:59

Her to allow.

:: 22:00

Her to to release all that stuff that she needed to release.

:: 22:03

And there's so much noise in our heads and there's so much noise out there as well as in there that sometimes just having, like you say, a space to either share it with somebody else, share it on paper, allow yourself to have a good cry. All these things just give us freedom, really don't they? Ultimately, in the long run.

:: 22:24

Yeah, absolutely. Because once they understand why our body is doing what it's doing, we can then think, OK, I'm aware.

:: 22:30

Of that now.

:: 22:31

And get curious, curiosity is a big thing. I get my client get curious.

:: 22:35

You know, you know.

:: 22:37

Pigs say, oh, you know, I'm. I'm really upset because so and so was really angry and said XY and said OK well.

:: 22:44

Bit curious as to why that person.

:: 22:45

'S angry. What's going on?

:: 22:46

In their life with them.

:: 22:47

To have to explode and be angry, it's.

:: 22:49

Not necessarily what you've.

:: 22:50

Done, but it's how they're feeling about their selves.

:: 22:53

And when my clients learn to be curious, they realise it's not all about them and they don't take it internally. They think, OK, what's going on with that person's life? So it's really getting killed and with ourselves as well. OK. I'm feeling a bit anxious and I'm feeling a bit worried.

:: 23:09

Why am I? Where does that come from? Where's that anxiety come from? Rather than thinking I can't be anxious only to let me really calm. I need to look confident. I need to look like I know I'm.

:: 23:19

You're in, but now get really curious as to where that anxiety is is coming from or where that overwhelm is is coming from, and then when you can start to, like, dissect it and chunk it down. OK. Right. That makes sense. OK, right. I can do this to to deal with that. To do that, to deal with that. And certainly, I mean either a client yesterday.

:: 23:39

You've gotta do a big presentation. You should. I'm just thinking of different ways I can kind of really get out of it. So we kind of, like, have the session all about her presentation.

:: 23:47

And she said.

:: 23:48

Afterwards, actually I'm really looking forward to doing this presentation now because we dealt with all the things that she was. She's thinking, well, what if this happens? What if that happens? What is? If she was sending herself into a real anxiety panic because or I think this could all go terribly, terribly wrong. You know, so.

:: 24:04

We we we worked our.

:: 24:05

Way through it. And she's she's absolutely.

:: 24:07

I'm about doing a presentation now.

:: 24:09

Brilliant. And isn't that just the best when somebody can work through all of those objections and all of those doubts and actually realise once you've clear?

:: 24:18

That there's the noise. Suddenly they're they're looking forward to something. And how often do you hear? Then people say, wow, it was amazing. And it wasn't any, you know, nothing like I'd imagined it was going to be so, so good. So that's fabulous for her.

:: 24:35

Brilliant. OK, so we got. So we've explored kind of some of the I suppose just talked about the reality. I think that's the thing that I'm sort of thinking about now we we we're talking about the reality of what goes on in humans in this podcast is always giving that sort of how to make sense of your mind.

:: 24:55

Early and you and you behave.

:: 24:58

So we've got some things to think about for people pausing sitting with, with discomfort, sometimes managing that emotional response, which is absolutely critical for everything, doesn't matter whether it's in a child, work or just life in general. But we got another little tip that some that you like to use with your clients that you.

:: 25:18

Can share with.

:: 25:19

Everyone today.

:: 25:20

Yeah, I've got a.

:: 25:21

Great little tip and I'll have.

:: 25:22

To describe it, obviously.

:: 25:23

When I podcast, if you, if you're feeling really, really anxious because that's in the way the.

:: 25:29

The trauma is.

:: 25:30

And where all.

:: 25:30

That kind of the Olympic system is in the.

:: 25:33

Middle at the back of your of your head.

:: 25:35

We really want to be in like the there's a hundred of our prefrontal cortex. So if you fold your arms and and actually do like a butterfly tap and so tap alternatively on each arm, keep your hands up straight and and just imagine a place where you love to be. That's really, really peaceful. And that way it'll bring it. Bring your thoughts back to.

:: 25:54

The front of your.

:: 25:55

Mind. So you can think logically about.

:: 25:57

Stuff. So then you.

:: 25:58

Can work out what you want to do and.

:: 26:00

Where you want to go because you.

:: 26:01

You can't tap like that and think of a lovely piece or place and feel anxious at the same time. Your, your, your brain can't physically do that so.

:: 26:09

It's a really.

:: 26:10

Really good way if you're thinking I've gotta do this presentation and I'm feeling really anxious, so you can go into the like the toilets.

:: 26:16

Or somewhere beforehand.

:: 26:18

Cross your arms over and tap on each, or if not, if you've seen them.

:: 26:21

In the anxious and you're in the room.

:: 26:23

Tap on the side of your your legs, you know either side of your thigh. Just I'll turn it. Tap in and just think of a.

:: 26:28

Nice, peaceful place that you love to be.

:: 26:30

Me and then mine. I will go to the the New Forest. I love being in the New Forest amongst the trees. So yeah, I just go there and it's like it's it will bring you back to sort of being what we call being online being back in the logical part of your brain. So you can actually think, OK. Yeah, I'm feeling anxious about this because when I was like 7 and I did a school play that happened.

:: 26:50

And it made me.

:: 26:51

Feel like I was, you know, excellent and said so that OK, well, that was when I was back when I was seven. I'm, I'm now 40 or 50 or whatever at your age are. That's not gonna happen to me today. So.

:: 27:01

You can. You can really think about that logically. So it's a really good way to kind of get your your your mind back into the the place it needs to be rather than working from your flight, flight or freeze, you're actually working from your logical part of your brain.

:: 27:14

Nice. Lovely. And that, like you say something very tangible that you don't have to take any equipment with you. You've just you've got your hands, you've got your arms. You can just very gently. Just do that. And I think it's a brilliant exercise to just bring you back into the moment. Absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much for coming and sharing.

:: 27:36

Your thoughts and some of your work with us today and really appreciate.

:: 27:40

OK.

:: 27:41

No problem. And if anybody's interested, I do actually do a complementary half an hour call and I'll I'll pop the links over to you so you can pop them in the thread. And I've also got a book that is called. You can have it how to break through the self sabotage cycle which is available on Amazon. And I'll pop those links to you as well. So you can pop them in and say if anybody's.

:: 27:59

Interested in sort of like.

:: 28:01

Getting curious and and it's kind of slight something in them I think. Ohh yeah, I'd like to talk a bit further that you know I'd love to chat to anybody if anybody emails me, I do reply to everybody personally as well.

:: 28:12

Brilliant. Thanks. Book. Yeah, we'll put all your links in the show notes for anyone.

:: 28:17

So brilliant episodes, great to just pause and think about might slightly different aspect of the mind and how we can get the best from ourselves. Interestingly, in next week's episode, I'm speaking to Nova Cobbin and we're going to be talking about rebirthing. So I think that will all fall in just perfectly.

:: 28:37

So thanks again Brooke.

:: 28:41

Thank you for listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Health. Remember, you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is, what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode? Message me on Instagram.

:: 28:59

Or through our website with questions you'd like me to explore. You'll find the links in the show notes. I'll be back with more tools and tips to make sense of your mine in the next episode. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bye for now.