Episode 45
Finding your unique USP (and stop moaning) w/ JoJo Smith
Join us in this insightful episode of Mental Wealth, where we delve deep into the realm of discovering your Unique Selling Proposition (USP)
With over 20 years of business development experience in the corporate, education and retail sectors, our special guest, JoJo Smith has a nurturing tenacity that has created sustainable connections and relationships that form part of her extensive network. Her sassy reputation precedes her, earning her the title of the "Go to Girl" for all things Creative. JoJo is everything that the word Sassy embodies, she is lively, bold, full of spirit and just a little bit cheeky...SassyNotSorry
Whether you're an entrepreneur, a content creator, or someone simply seeking to carve out your niche, this conversation is filled with practical advice and inspiration. Tune in as we explore the keys to unlocking your unique USP and standing out in a world filled with noise and moaning!
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Transcript
Episode 45 - Finding your unique USP (and stop moaning)
Transcript
::Welcome.
::To mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great topic.
::Welcome to episode 45. In this episode, we're actually going to talk about all of the themes that I cover in this in this podcast because I think it's sometimes really important for us to put that whole context into place, and I am delighted to say that I'm sharing this episode with a very special lady.
::JoJo Smith, so welcome, JoJo. And please introduce yourself.
::Wow. My mom always taught me to say thank you for having me. She never went to anybody's house for tea, so be on the podcast, which is one of my favourite spaces. I'm gonna say thank you for having me. I really, really appreciate it and I'm very excited to be here.
::Brilliant. Well, feel very, very welcome. So tell everyone a little bit about you first. So they know why you're sharing this space with me today.
:: ::So I am JoJo Smith, the Brand and Vision strategist AKA the Belief brand and Business Development Fairy Godmother, which is a name that I have earned myself and have put out there. When you think of a fairy godmother, you think of somebody that nurtures potential and holds the hand.
::For everybody to transform into who they were always meant to be, with everything they already had, but couldn't quite see it for themselves.
::So when we talk about belief brand and business development, they are the pillars on which I believe you can create a life that serves you that cake and eat it lifestyle, because if you have the belief, you can have an awesome brand. If you have an awesome brand, you can have an awesome business. And if you have an awesome business, you can actually create a life.
::That serves you.
::But there's so many different elements within that and and today when you talk about encompassing all of the things that are important to your listen and that you talk about being confidence, purpose, modern day challenges and mental health.
::They're all encompassed in all of that, but my biggest belief is that my USP is me, and I believe that for everybody else as well. So I am excited about this conversation today.
::Yeah, it's gonna be brilliant. It's gonna.
::Be brilliant and I think.
::This is it.
::I I love your approach and obviously I've been following you for a little while, so I'm I'm always interested in just the joy that you bring to us all. But I think one of the reasons why talking about being me is for you to be you and me to be me and everyone else.
::Listening to.
::Yeah, that isn't necessarily easy to do, which sounds the craziest thing in the world, and that's why.
::It's the hardest thing in the.
::World it really is. It really is. And there's so many things. I mean, I talk about this kind of thing on this podcast all the time I work with.
::People.
::I've written some books that help people be able to be that thing which is be themselves, but this podcast has got these themes, confidence, purpose, modern challenges and mental health.
::And we.
::Today, today, we're going to have a bit of fun playing around with where we can put little bits of attention in all of those areas that that help us be, that be me and and you know, like you say, your USP is is yours and very striking and everybody listening can be whatever it is that they want to be and find that.
::That I think we just need to talk at first about why is it so hard.
::Why is it so difficult?
::So I'll tell you what it is.
::Go on.
::Because when people grow up, they do nothing but moan.
::Right. So as we grow up, ourselves included and those around us tend to get this mentality and this attitude that we need to moan and groan about things. And quite often the things that were moaning and groaning about are other people's opinions that have been.
::Either trailed left in front of us, you know, sprinkled around, and I think I do think it's partly as simple as that. However, that great big piece of pie called Overthinking grabs us round the neck.
::And it decides to suffocate us.
::And we get hooked in this in this loop. Now that can be anything that was said to us, maybe from a childhood or going through. I'm sure everybody's aware that these things can stay with us. Yeah. Or for me, it's all about self-awareness and a strategy around your self-awareness. Obviously I'm the founder of Creative sass, which is all about really putting the emphasis on being creative.
::In your self-awareness with a strategy.
::So I think the more we become self aware that actually that overthinking and those I call them flying flu-berries that we give too many of all of that if we just took a step back for a minute and realised that we we are doing that.
::And why we do that?
::Then that actually can give you those first steps of moving forward to not let those things happen to us. Does that make sense?
::Yeah, I.
::Love that and.
::You know, you're right. We are either moaning or.
::Moaning about ourselves.
::But that's what I was going to say. The other bit that people are.
::Or others.
::Moaning about is.
::Is in a judgement way judging people looking at others and deciding that they're wrong and you're right and this gets us into such a.
::Yes.
::A mess, doesn't it? Because you know, let's.
::You know, I'm often reminding people.
::Don't be interested in what everyone else is doing, you know, get in your own lane, stay there, and actually, you know, take take joy from the fact that somebody's different to you. If somebody wants to wear something or be a certain way, you know, for me, I'm almost. I think you'll be the same. JoJo, I'm. I'm almost more inspired.
::By somebody who actually.
::He is showing themselves to be different because I'm thinking go on, go for it, go for it. It's so exciting because.
::You can see.
::There.
::Freedom. But we know that internally that might not be the case for them. It might be really hard and horrible, but they're still doing it anyway.
::I've done the post this morning. It's really uh, I say strange. It's not because the universe has a way of doing these things. I've done a post this morning which is which I actually said. It's not about being better. It's about being different. It's all about being you and the the the trap that we tend to fall into when you talk about.
::Judgement. This is this is a really good.
::Conversation piece because I believe in doing business and life, how we could not, how we.
::Should.
::And one of my biggest self-awareness strategies, it's a really small one and it's a tiny shift. But if if if you can bring this into your day-to-day life, it can make all the difference when it comes to judgement of yourself.
::And others. And rather than use the word should in your vocabulary. If you swap that out for the word could.
::Absolutely can change your mindset in an instant. When we say we should do that, or I should do this, or I should be looking that way, or I should be doing that, or I should have been there. What you're doing is you're being instantly really judgmental on yourself. Tell it, and the word should isn't a great.
::Word.
::No, it's heavy. It's a heavy word, isn't it? They're heavy.
::Very heavy, but yet it's the smallest little shift that you can make. And if when you swap the ohh, I could do that or I could do this all of a sudden you alleviate pressure, you alleviate judgements.
::And you actually bring in a whole magical state of. I could do that.
::It's plus it's all about the possibilities now in the same way that if you say that all that person should do this, well, who are you to say that?
::Exactly.
::This is like a self-awareness thing and it actually makes me smile. I mean, those closest to me now like I still slip up every now and again. I do still slip up.
::But I am really conscious in the thought of the word should and remove and those closest to me will go ohh. Sh-could and it's hard to come out and they they change it and it changes your mood. It changes everything. But being judgmental on yourself and others.
::I love it.
::Will only cause you unhappiness.
::Really will and it knocks your focus, it knocks. You know we talk about confidence, it's going to knock your own confidence because your brain of course, even if you're thinking about someone else.
::It still thinks you're talking about yourself. The human brain still has that real complication. So if you're judging somebody else and making criticism, your brain actually thinks you're talking about yourself. So we never really feel good. You might.
::Have a mini feeling.
::Of ohh gratification for saying it, but actually ultimately it actually doesn't work so consequently.
::Asking yourself these questions is really helpful and I I love that and I think the other thing that's fun about what you've.
::Said is if you catch yourself out and it's a bit funny so.
::You could should you're.
::Breaking that pattern in your in the way that you think as well. So humour and a bit of fun being being kind to yourself and having a bit more fun with yourself again from a, you know, my my focus is always obviously how the brain will interpret these things.
::It will be a bit more relaxed because you're laughing or you could ask yourself.
::When you're doing your shots, who says?
::Who says? Who says.
:: ::I love that.
::Who says? Who says you should. Who they who they.
::Where are they? Where do they come from? And it could be, as you've said before, and I'm always talking about this, it could be a very old voice from the past. It could be a voice that you've created in your own mind, an idea that you've created in your own mind. So again, your attention is external.
::Well, or deeply, as you say, internal with that moaning. So I love that. That's a good place to start.
::I say don't grow up. Glow up. Right let's you know there was something to be said for Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle and I mean I some people think sometimes like I don't think they see the serious side of me enough and this has been said to me in some aspects and there's been times when I've thought you know what.
::In a business, do I need to do this? Should or be doing the?
::Right. And then the could comes into mind and I'm like it was only at the moment that I stepped into my could rather than should and I became who I thought I could be rather than who I thought I should be in my brand, in my business and everything. And that was the time, when actually it really took off.
::Yeah.
::And that's why I advocate for people to be wholeheartedly themselves, and, dare I say, stop being boring, right? Because when you're the same as everybody else.
::You're just being boring and I'm calling that out and I say it with love, because boring just means you're not. You're not embracing. So you know the best part of what could possibly be. It's the possibilities we're talking about. Again, I've gone off slightly, but it's it's just.
::Right.
::That's fine.
::Honestly, it's so important to me to, you know, when I said people might not take me seriously. Do you know what those people that won't take me seriously at that point won't be ready for me?
::Yeah. So, but the ones that are ready for me, they always come and go. JoJo, I don't know why I.
::Need you I.
::Just do right and that's kind of like a fairy godmother thing as well. You you wish for a fairy godmother, but you're not quite sure exactly what you want from them. And it normally is that nurture it is that guidance is that direction it is.
::That vision of what you can absolutely could be your biggest potential and somebody said to me the day I said.
::I was doing a new title for a new talk that I'm about to do and I get. Am I allowed to swear on this if I'm not because it right? So I get ****** *** with people not fulfilling their full potential right? Because I am like you have no idea what is waiting for you if you just embrace who you.
::Actually are rather than being like everybody else.
::And I was like, it's the power. It's the power of personality. It's the power of potential. And a lot all potentials, a bit fluffy. I was like, do you understand what potential means? It's it's those kind of it's those kind of shoots when people go ohh. You know that's a bit this but in stepping into.
::Who I actually am, and that means the fun side of me, the childlike elements of me. It's allowed me to not grown up. It's allowed me.
::To glow up.
::Love that and I think as you as adults, you know you we are so hard on ourselves. So serious. You know we again in in a lot of my work you know often trying to sort of help someone just just just like shake just.
::Lighting and I'm gonna bring the light to them.
::Just shake up and go and jump in that puddle, you know, go and literally do that thing because it is so freeing because in all of us in our coding, no matter what your childhood was like, we've still all got that desire to just be carefree at times and and or just to to take that pressure off and see.
::You know, if you've made a mistake.
::Rather than be super hard on yourself, it's not a mistake, is it? It's just a a learn point.
::A lesson or a blessing, lesson or a blessing, alright?
::Yeah.
::Exactly. I mean, I often talk about things being done for you, not to you.
::You know, so again, why has that happened and how can you take something forward?
::I am. I've just recently taken on a new client. She's very big in the whole health space and we were I was doing a little bit of research on her before we actually met for our our day and we were working on her brand and her business and everything else and.
::She uh. In this podcast she had this line where I was like, Oh my goodness. I thought it was only me that thought that now this is quite heavy and some people may.
::Judge, but if you.
::Do take a step back and just think about.
::It before you.
::Do right and in this podcast she spoke about her yay moment. When she sees somebody in their darkest hour.
::And when they are in their darkest hour and going through their darkest time, her inner self kind of has this little celebratory kind of thing, even though they're in turmoil and they're in trauma and everything else. And I'd never heard anybody else say this because this was something that I definitely get when I see somebody in their darkest hour. And I'm.
::If I'm working with them, especially because I know I can help and I know I can guide.
::But when I see them, even if I'm not going to be working with them, I know if I see them so many months.
::Later, if they are on.
::A. A path, a certain path.
::That is going to be the making of them that is going to be the turning point of everything and I get a little bit excited and that sounds a bit sadist, but it's because I know what's on the other side. Yeah, and that sounds very big. It sounds very bolshy. But these big things come to teach us.
::These big things come to show us a different way now. The big thing here is.
::Is you have to choose to want that I have a a way that I deal with any kind of big, heavy trauma drama, whatever. Might go on in life and I call it the the, the, the feeling deal method. I absolutely have to feel it.
::Yeah, I absolutely have to feel it. I mean, this podcast will probably go out a bit later on, but we had a bereavement in the family last weekend, a very close bereavement.
::And I absolutely have to feel it. I'm not saying that I wash over these things. I'm not saying that I press them down. I'm saying it hurt, but in the process of it, I've learned how to deal with those emotions as you go. So you feel with it, but then you deal with it.
::And then you choose if you want to stay in a sad state, then choose to stay in that sad state until you choose. You don't want to, and when you are ready to move and you go, I don't want to.
::Feel like this anymore?
::That's that's when the light and went. Yeah, that's that's your my.
::Of course, yeah.
::Yeah, your motivation, isn't it your mojo to get out? Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's one of the things that I live by because it's my story and it's obviously something that I encourage people to do is to, to not be afraid of the emotions that are going to come. So whatever, I mean, bereavement.
::You know, obviously sorry.
::For for your family, it's a it's difficult, but it's it's something.
::That we have.
::To, as you say, feel it and then deal with it. Otherwise it stays. It gets locked in and that's what I see when it causes it. And you know, I I I suppose I'm in a bit of the same space and that I obviously get to work with people who've had things go on in their lives that are really difficult.
::Less so these days because I don't do as much therapy. But you know, certainly that's my background.
::And to know that somebody's ready to explore and to let go because of either, it's got so much that they can't deal with it anymore and they need to want to get away from it. But because for many years a lot of them have used different substances or they've created a life that sort of.
::Dealt with it, but really, ultimately we haven't. They've missed it. Yeah. And I think for me, you know, being able to to, to work alongside somebody who is brave and courageous to say.
:: ::Ready to I don't know how to do this and I've lived with it for years and you know, and again, it doesn't even have to.
::Be a deep trauma. It can just.
::Be a behavioural thing.
::From a family or a relationship?
::That's still hanging around.
::Just for me, I get excited when I know that somebody's ready to to just explore their life so that they don't have to have that thing that affects them and that affects their confidence. Yeah, it does. I feel I feel. And then that there's nothing greater than having somebody who.
:: ::Put something in place my client this morning worked with her a couple of weeks ago and she's put something in place and it's made a massive difference. And it was just how she was seeing things.
::You know it's.
::It is. It gives me a little.
::It's joyful, but we all need these people. I think we need these people in our life to show us that it can be done. Yeah. And, you know, we need people in our lives to encourage. Encourage is a huge word for me.
:: ::Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I think the other thing that springs to my mind when you.
::Say that as.
::Well, is when you are going to make a a change or tap into who you really are, we do need to be brave. We do need to know that it's not always going to be easy, but the other thing that is important is make sure your cheerleaders the encouragers.
::Are the right people because us is absolutely critical, isn't it? If it's, if you're thinking of a jigsaw here, for me, that's a massive part of the jigsaw. Get your cheerleaders.
::Absolutely.
::If they're not encouraging you, they're not the right people.
::Because some people can't, can they? They don't know how to because they feel jealous or they they can't see themselves doing what it is that you're about to do. So they'll make a.
::I think.
::Judgement. I think it also as well I have this analogy. Excuse me. I have this analogy that.
::There's lots of people go well. My family just don't get it or, you know my partner or whatever. And I'm like, you need to. This is where self-awareness comes into it, because this analogy for me is of a tight rope.
::But I always say so. When your family and your friends and your loved ones, those that love you the most, they are watching you walk up this tightrope ladder to get to the top and they're encouraging you. They're going. Yeah. Yeah, that's brilliant. Go on. You're so brave. And if they actually get to the top and they're like, yeah, you go to put your foot out on that tightrope and all of a sudden they all go.
::Well, that's enough now. Come down. That's enough now. Come down. Be safe because they want to keep you safe, right? So they will encourage you so far. But it I always say, prepare yourself for that encouragement to.
::Halt and to cease because they are fearful for you. Yeah. They just want to protect you. So I always say you need those those people in your corner that are on the opposite end of the toy rope that have been there, done it. Seen it in order to go to you. Come on mate. Come across. You can do this.
::A little bit left, a little bit, right. This is what's gonna happen. You might fall. But you know what? You can steady yourself because that's what I did. Yeah, and that's how I feel. It works. And too often.
::And sometimes it does need to be somebody that's a it's a little bit less connected.
::And that that can help, but some. So sometimes you have to go outside of that immediate circle to find those people, you know, community for me has been absolutely huge.
::Yeah.
::Yeah, definitely. I think so. I think it's just finding your community that are going to like you say without judgement, just be there to cheerlead or encourage you and and and just be there to catch those doubtful thoughts and those bits that are gonna get in the way because they're gonna come, they will come.
::I always felt like we you speak about purpose and that purpose is one of your big things and you know purpose when it comes to your business and your brand and everything else, it's huge for me and as in it's it's when I say it's huge. For me it's huge for me what I do. But it's huge for the people that I encourage within their businesses because from 20 years in business development.
::What I learned was, and especially coming into my own space and doing what I did, if you haven't got purpose behind you, I genuinely feel it's gonna be 10 times harder and it's hard already. It's already hard path, but it's gonna be 10 times harder, and it's going to be less sustainable.
::And scalable because of how hard it will actually be. So when it comes to purpose, when we talk about encouragement, I was brought up in the foster care system from the age of 18 months right through to the age of 18 and the word foster actually means to encourage and once I.
::Stepped in and honed in and owned my purpose, which wholeheartedly throughout my life has been about encouragement for others, because there's been times in my life where I didn't have it and I really, really needed it. And so I valued it. And when I bring that full circle to the word fostering meaning encouragement.
::Purpose has such a strong value in where you go, so encouragement seats like we could talk about encouragement all day long because if you don't have that encouragement, if you don't have those cheerleaders, if you don't have that person that is believing in you wholeheartedly. Because I have to borrow belief at the beginning of my journey.
::You know belief and it's the one thing that when I work with people, they'll go. You just believed in me.
::And I believe anybody can do anything. And I mean anything.
::There's a form or way where there's a wish. There's a way, but it takes huge massive encouragement, so it's it's I wanted to kind of hone in and that's about why it's so important to me.
::No, I think it's a good one.
::I think it really is, but I think with that what it brings to my mind is.
::The.
::The purpose bit is the is the getting clear on what it actually is, because I think even if it's a small thing, you know we're not, we're not necessarily talking about making huge changes in somebody's complete life or anything like that.
::If you are clear on.
::Why you are doing something? So it might be that you needed to go and have a difficult conversation with a family member or there's something that's not quite right in your world.
::And you've gotta get clear on the why you're doing it, because that I think comes full circle to what you've started this at podcast talking about with where people are just moaning.
::They're just moaning. They're not.
::Really thinking about why am I moaning? What is it that I'm? Why am I? What is it at the bottom of this thing that's bothering me? Is it me internally or is it something to do with my past? Or is it?
::Like just a nothing, a complete nothing.
::People don't go deep when they think like that. They're also a lot of people sit.
::Surface level and I always suggest that when you are thinking like when you say that, think about why all that is is just taking one extra minute to think a little bit deeper and it's actually it's actually saying.
::Why?
::Why? Yeah, why? And when you've asked yourself why? And you've come up with an answer, ask yourself why another three or four times, because every single time you'll go deeper in your answer. Yeah, because you know, it's like when people say I want this business, cause I wanna do this. I go. Why?
::And they'll say something I will say to people what your 3 wishes and more often than not, we get the I want the lottery win.
::Why? And if you ask why about 25 times? It normally takes about 25 times to get there. It always comes back to security and safety and freedom. But to begin with, it starts with, well, I want to.
::Buy.
::The big house? Yeah. Why?
::Why?
::That's that why several times? And if you ask yourself that within life and you start to get into a habit of asking yourself that.
::You will be on a much more joyful, fulfilled, I call it indulgent, fulfilment, indulgence, infulgents. Sorry is what I call it. And that's indulgent fulfilment and everybody wants to feel fulfilled. Everyone wants to be happy. Ultimately. Yeah. You're only going to do that if you ask yourself why.
::More than once.
::Exactly. So you've got to open up that sort of your your response on us, isn't it to what is going?
::On around you.
::Or another question, I often ask people to ask.
::Is that's the real problem here, because we've got the surface problem. But what's the real problem? What? What actually has happened? Because usually it's nothing to do with the thing that's just happened. It's something else people feel in their mind or they feel like somebody's overruled them, or they feel like something's unfair. There's something that's deeper than this.
::Thing that's just happened and that gets such in.
::Our way of.
::Of our purpose and being ourselves, doesn't it?
::And do you find that that's always comes back to them? Yeah. Always. Yeah. It's never. It's never. And that's what self-awareness is. And I don't think enough people.
::Or understand the power of self-awareness and this is where creative SAS was born. Creative. There's two kinds of SAS in my world, sass as in lively, bold, full of spirit, and a little bit cheeky. That's my sassy no, sorry. Kind of attitude, but sass in my world stands for self-awareness strategy because.
::And I never thought I could own a business. I thought I was too fat. I thought my brummy accent would get in the way. I thought I was too thick because I hadn't done very well at school.
::What I wasn't listening to is that I'd had over 20 years of experience in the business development world working with huge global brands. I wasn't hearing that. I was hearing the other stuff. I was hearing that my accent wouldn't take me. I was hearing that I wasn't professional enough because I like to do things a certain way. And yet.
::Once I actually took a step back from that and I started to focus on my strengths.
::Rather than what I've been hearing for so, so long, I needed, but I needed to find that strategy and that that strategy only came from me becoming really self aware and really taking the time. But in order to do that because of my neuro sassiness as I call it, cause of my nearness sassiness, I had to find a creative way of doing that because.
::Some like for me, some of the things were too generic I.
::Just couldn't connect.
::Yeah, to them because they were the same everywhere that you went. So Creative, Sass, creative self-awareness strategy within your business and.
::Life that that became like a non-negotiable for me because I had to find creative ways to become self aware. Yeah, and they became fun because that way then I became connected to them rather than feeling like they're a diet or a chore and getting.
::Fed up of.
::Them if that makes sense, and they often change because as I evolve.
::Yeah, I love that.
::We need more creative strategies.
::In order to keep those things going. So it's about really becoming self aware, but become creative and connected in your self-awareness because what works for one will not work for you necessarily. You have to find something that you connect to, you have to find something that is you because at the end of the day this is where we started.
::Sure.
::My USP is me. Yours is you. It's all about you.
::Exactly. And I think you know, I I often talk about it and this.
::Isn't a scientific.
::Figure. But I often say that 80% of changing anything is being aware of what you're doing at the moment.
::Yeah.
::And then the next time you do it, your awareness just might have tweaked cause you just might catch yourself a little bit quicker, saying that negative thought about yourself or that internal moan or that judgement every time you move your awareness, you move that just that little bit all the time and then eventually.
::It's changed because people often say to me, you know, can you change your thoughts? Can you change you?
::Absolutely.
::Know.
::100% you can, but you can't just flick a switch. It's not as easy as just going here. It is. I'll stop thinking like that. Now you know your brain is there to protect you. It's gonna give you all the experiences you've had in your mind.
::My stories, a little bit similar. I, you know, I didn't believe in.
::Myself.
::I had very limiting thoughts about myself and my past, and here I am running a business myself. Got two published books and running a podcast. You know my former self would never have been having this conversation with you, that's for sure.
::It's it's huge, it's, you know, and it becomes that does become an inspiration for others. I when you say about moving forward, I absolutely agree because and this again comes full circle to all people do this man that might be a good title for this what people do his own but.
::What I what I say now is there's that challenge of I think anybody can come back to happy from anything. And I did have one one. And I'm sorry if this triggers anybody. There was always one thing that used to hold me back from saying you can come back to happy from anything and that was the loss.
::Of a child. I used to think that's the top Trump of trauma and sadness, and I always thought, well, I don't know if, like, I don't know if that's possible, to come back to happy from that. And I listened to my go that's podcast episode 101 with Steven Barta.
::It.
:: OK, I found that one. Nought .: ::Days I have actually become like an Olympic athlete. Now when it comes to switching my thoughts, my self-awareness dependent on and this is self-awareness in itself, if I'm tired.
::Or someone else. Then it's a bit slower. Yeah. Or if it's a completely new situation, it's a little bit slower, but it just takes me just a minute to catch myself. And self-awareness is about acknowledgement and acceptance and allowance of yourself. And I've definitely become like that now. So some people say to me.
::JoJo, how do you stay so positive? How do you stay so happy? And it's like this has been me in training. I may not be able to throw the javelin or run the 100 metres, but when it comes to my self-awareness and catching myself and coming back to happy, you bet yourself you are gonna have a race on your hands because.
::I have trained myself in order that I do not waste a minute of my life. I do not waste energy on things. Like I said, it does happen, but it's that catch of awareness in this moment of last weekend, we spent a whole weekend in a room with. I'm just gonna sit with my mother-in-law on her.
::End of life.
::Palliative care and to start sit in a room with someone slowly watching them drift, but some pain and stuff like that. Again, I'm sorry if this causes.
::Life. But in those moments I did put my oxygen mask on 1st. I came out, I went and took my shoes and socks off. I went and sat in the garden of the home and put my feet on the ground. But also I was grateful for the time to be there to say the goodbyes, to support my partner, to have the laughs and jokes.
::About how she was we celebrated her in that moment and actually take take the positives and the blessings.
::Out of that and you know, we're only a week in and we're we're still having moments. We're still having sadness, you know, and stuff like that, but it's about giving yourself that time and space and it's about catching yourself. It's about allowing it, accepting it and acknowledging it. Sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent there, but I just get so passionate about it. And if anybody hears that and it was what they needed to hear.
::That.
::Or with someone who needs to hear whatever comes out in these podcasts. I absolutely believe that. And I think you know, for me, listening.
::Yes.
::In.
::You know, obviously grief has all sorts of parameters, and everybody grieves in a different way. And you know, I often hear people saying I should be over this by now. And absolutely there's another should. No one should be doing anything.
::But I think to me one of the things I like to encourage people to do and and again, I think it's what.
::You're saying JoJo?
::Is.
::The more you do this kind of work, your bounce back gets quicker and quicker and quicker and quicker. So I also just like you, I can have things that catch me out. I had something recently that, you know, made me have to pause and think about what was going on and some of my old stuff reappeared as it does.
::But your ability to be able to catch it, be aware of it, sit with it, maybe challenge it, be kind to yourself, all of the above.
::Who?
::Whatever works for you.
::Do whatever works for you. Some people need to go out running. Some people need to sit and meditate. Whatever it.
::Is do that.
::I tell myself in a cold bath.
::Well, I admire people who do that.
::Not doing as much of that, but.
::You know, being able to notice that you recover quicker, you bounce back, you bet yourself back on your track.
::Then you're back on your purpose. You're back on your kind.
::Of.
::What it is that you're trying to achieve? I think what I noticed when people just get themselves they home in on the thing that's not gone well, the home on the feelings that are there, which we still need to honour, but then they get stuck.
::Yeah. Well, it's because they don't have a strategy and the strategy is this, just the plan. It's the way. But self-awareness and strategy, this is where I'm so passionate and this is where I'm like creative self-awareness strategy. Come on, get get this is a thing. This is where trademarks it because I was.
::With that.
::Like this isn't I want people to understand the power of creative self-awareness and strategy together. And if you have a strategy, I say when you say something caught you out. Last week I always say bigger wishes. Being bigger, self doubt dishes. This is never going away. It's never going away. It's always going to try and catch me out. Those little mine.
::Chickens are always gonna come up on me, so I am. I am really like prepared for them, but I need to have that strategy in order to deal with them when they come knocking at my door. One, I need to know that it's.
::And two, I need to know how I tell them to off their pop.
::And if you have that kind of strategy and you can put that on a rinse and repeat cycle.
::That's it. Has to be bespoke to you.
::Yes.
::Once you figure that out, the happier and sassier you will be because it's it's just understanding, like my strategy works for me and I teach that. And you know I have a course for that and everything. But how I teach it is OK, how is this gonna work for you, give you something. And sometimes it's as simple as an.
::Number being connected to a number. So for me my affirmations or sassy statements as I call them cause everybody can have affirmations, but the very generic, the very they'll think one person not necessarily you. So this statement has to be powerful to you.
::Yeah.
::And I have 722, so I do seven statements cause sevens my number over 22 days now because 21 days to break a habit, 96 days for a lifestyle change.
::There's the scientific part of it that your brain can change its thoughts over 21 days, but 21 days to me didn't connect to me. But 22 days was life changing. But 22 is my birthday. Two another 2-2 people used to tell me I was too too much, too, too loud, too too. This and everything. So that #22 I'm connected to it straight away.
::Seven statements over 22 days say those statements, and I'm going way back now. This was just one of my strategies, but that's how I got creative with it. It was instead of me hearing I am not qualified. I know that I am an awesome creative. You give me an elastic band and a pen and a paper clip and I will make you something.
::Phenomenal out of it, right? This is. This is my, my, my truth. Something that I absolutely know.
::Saying that's myself for the 22 days of a morning.
::In.
::I don't hear that I am not qualified anymore. I've never heard that since. It's been transformational. And now whenever I don't hear now about me not being qualified, I hear I'm an awesome creative. But now if I hear ohh, I'm not a good enough speaker.
::For that big room.
::Then I would say something like JoJo. Your energy is contagious.
::Because which it is, I know it is.
::I know it.
::And so and that's what I would hear. So these are the things that that's your self-awareness strategy. So what you know, I'm not saying that's gonna work for you.
::But there can be something out there that if you dig deep enough to know what is going to connect with me, what is my strategy going to be for my self-awareness? And is that that I say to my little girl, if mum is grumpy, say these 3 words?
::Because they might catch it rather than you.
::Do.
::Ohh, definitely children are very good at. I hear lots of people saying things like ohh I've got pulled it pulled up by my 7 year old because she said Mummy. I thought we weren't saying those words anymore.
::Those you know, there's got to be something that connects to you. So this is what? That's how I work self-awareness strategy. But I would.
::Like encourage anybody that listens to this to go what self. When a strategy can I put into my day that actually you know will will see me either. So if everybody you know if somebody's not getting up and feeling happy from the get.
::Go.
::We know gratitude.
::Good.
::You know, it's a great starter to the day I call it morning glory rising with intention. There's a little bit of a play on words there, but that's like that. I'm like, OK, rather than it just being gratitude. This is gonna be my morning glory. It can be the sunset sun sunrise. Sorry. I get them mixed up all the time. It can be the sunrise.
::Is it can be just listening to the birds?
::Simplest things sometimes, isn't it? It's the things in the moment I've I've created a lovely little journal which is full of prompts and it it lasts for three months and every day it's got little prompts and one of them is what's your intentions? One of them is what is your wins? One of them is what you're grateful for and just pausing in that moment, taking your attention.
::Away from all of the things that maybe you've worried about, stressed about, feeling unsure about and home in on something the brain can attach itself to that then can.
:: ::It's, you know, it's as simple as when you just said like, what are your wins? We do not tell ourselves enough and remind ourselves of the good stuff we do because people think it's egotistical. They think it's, you know, I can't be proud of myself. Absolutely. You can be proud of yourself. You need to be proud of yourself because otherwise you won't know what you're capable of. Yeah. So I think of.
::Like it as a.
::A scrapbook of success. So your success Scrapbook.
::And my highlights, all my Instagram, all my social media team, always telling me to clear out the highlights cause there's so.
::Many of them.
::But these are my my, my power behind my potential because I look like I did that, and I did that, and I did that. They all highlights. I can't let me do it. We did any of my highlights.
::Because I want to remember them and I want to know so, you know, have a little think about a successful scrapbook and all the things that you have done.
::Them.
::Go back and take a look at them and remind yourself how absolutely fantastic you are, because if you don't know your capability, you'll never strive for that bigger that bigger wish.
::Exactly. I could talk to you all day. I'm.
::Sure, everyone here is like.
::Hopefully your energy is just coming down their ears and and or if they're watching it on YouTube, they can see us and see our kind of energy because, you know, it is infectious.
::We have to be ourselves. So yeah, more energy isn't necessarily the right thing. You know, I think we need to be really careful about comparing ourselves to anyone else but ourselves. But I think just listening to you and just hopefully people can just take away that one little thing that they can start. I love that.
::Health awareness strategy. I mean self-awareness is something that.
::I talk about.
::A lot and there are so many different ways that you can do do exactly that, aren't there.
::Well, when you reframe that SAS SAS as I call it, you know SAS, they're terminal. Their motto was those that Dare win. So I dare everybody to go and find a new self-awareness strategy that they can move forward with because I promise you you'll win. This is me with a chest infection kind of energy.
::So imagine what I'm like. I'm 4 lbs.
::I've seen your full Pelton. Brilliant. Brilliant. Thank you so much for coming and sharing your thoughts and your energy and your passion. It it does just come oozing out of you.
::There's loads of other things coming using out of maybe tissues at the ready at the minute, Allison, upper body and just letting everybody know and thank you so much for having me here. I've had a great time. It's been a lovely time and you've you've raised my energy today.
::Ah, brilliant.
::Because there's nothing I like to talk about more.
::Brilliant. Well, hopefully we've raised some energy out.
::Out there with our listeners as well.
::So thank you so much.
::You're welcome.
::Thank you for listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Wealth. Remember, you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is, what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode?
::Message me on.
::Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like.
::Me to explore.
::You'll find the links in the show notes. I'll be back with more tools and tips to make sense of your mind in the next episode. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Bye for now.
